After being a mama, these days I have more of mamas surrounding me. I interact with more mothers than what I had ever done in the past life. And these interactions, observations gives me so many opportunities to quote of on my blog. One such topic, rather a very vast one and super close to my heart is of “Positive Parenting”. I believe I shall take many posts to cover this topic, but here, I wanted to focus on Part I 0f Positive Parenting tips which I have been following.
10 Positive Parenting Hacks (Part I) for Parents :
1. Let them be what they are :
If they wish to dirty themselves in the sand with friends, don’t stop. Just ask them to be not put dirt in mouth, else it’s okay to make those beautiful castles and get dirtied. Supervise and watch them but don’t govern them always.
In playground, I hear mamas saying: D be careful, climb stairs carefully, look there is a kid on the slide, wait till he goes away and blah blah..Parents, your kids are not in the park for the first time. They very well know the environment there and can take their own decisions.
Your role is just to keep a watch on them. They will fall, get up on their own and play again. That is how it has to be!
2. Let your child help you with daily house chores :
Toddlers, Pre-schoolers need to understand that every member of the family has to contribute in small or big way. Performing the chores together also binds the family and brings all members more close. Engaging kids instils a sense of responsibility. If you have coriander to clean, let your kid help you out with. Segregate the tasks and perform it in a fun way. Kids will have a much better developmental trajectory.
3. Don’t be a referee, let them handle things :
Quit barging in every time you see a conflict between friends or siblings. Let them handle it their own way. Encourage them to find solutions to the problems rather than “you” pointing out who was correct and who was not. If you continue to be a referee, you’ll see that kids start complaining of their sibling or friend, whenever they don’t get what they want. They will always want you to take their sides and solve the problem. Opt out of those situations and ask kids to tackle it themselves. Basis their decision, later that day, during your personal time, you can have a one one one empathetic discussion on the happenings of the day and make your kid explain of suitable behaviour. But at the spot , allow him to solve the panic created.
4. Let the choices be restricted wrt Play , Food , clothing :
I see over pampering as a synonym to Positive Parenting. But is it supposed to be? Over pampering will not help kids anyway. Sometimes I see that a mom is readying up with 2-3 dishes in dinner for the children, simple reason, if they don’t eat one, they have the option of another dish. Why so? Kids need to understand that their plates will have the same food as other family members. Let them not go too choosy. More the choices, more the tantrums as they grow and understand. They will never understand what it is to “not get something they wish” in life. They should be allowed to fail, get up, and rise up again to succeed, rather than producing everything they want with a magic wand.
5. Allow them to fail :
Let them stumble, let them taste failure to be Successful ! As parents or caretakers, we ensure a complete boundary of protection for our kids. A little fall & we are there to pick them up. When in the garden with bunch of kids, we are there to help our child stand out in every scenario amongst other kids. If a child cries his heart out, we tend to give him what he wants or desires. But is this the way life will pass for them? No, they will face heartbreaks, they will have to face failures in one junction. So why not, we let them get into the idea of failing & succeeding, right early in the life. Helping them to overturn the obstacles is a learning that needs to be inculcated for Positive Parenting.
6. Encourage Pretend Plays and Readings :
Pretend plays are must to help kids explore the world and open up to learning in a practical and fun way. Get involved in role plays, create small scenarios, get kids related things and help them have a practical learning with fun.
Encourage Reading, Reading is a beautiful habit and an important “Positive Parenting” tip to inculcate in a kid. From just looking at pictures to trying to figure the alphabets, to reading the words and then sentences is a beautiful transition. At least 30 min a day should be reserved for reading, be it good reads, or stories with some learnings. It plays a great impact on kids learning curves and many positive behaviours can be taught in a story manner.
7. Involve in fun things as a family or with friends :
Go for play dates to nearby park or gather at a friends house. Let’s kids get involved with other kids to learn socialising, sharing and caring. Getting involved will help them gain team spirit and attain a better cognitive development. They’ll learn to be more decisive, friendly and enjoy a positive happy growth.
8. Set limits but after making them understand :
Stop saying “No” always. Rather than saying a direct no, divert the situation in a positive manner. The other day, my 3year old kid suddenly had an urge to go to the garden at 8pm and ride his new scooter there. Saying No could have aggravated him, knowing his recent love for the new scooter. I tried saying that it was dark outside and all babies had gone to sleep. You may ride inside and in the morning when sun comes out, we all will go to the park to enjoy. He resented once, I took him to look outside the window, and got his “Yes” that this was not a right time to go. Sometimes, “No” has to be said in a constructive manner and not directly to get a smiling “Yes” from kids.
9. Opt for minimum 30-45 one on one time with your child a day:
That should be the time with no disturbance, no gadgets but only you and your kid connecting mentally and emotionally. Talk to him about his day, activities, foods, friends and anything. Hear him up, get to know his thoughts on ever increasing knowledge. Each day makes him learn plethora of new things, so don’t miss that time to understand kids and their behaviour. Such a time helps a kid to connect emotionally and calm down as well. It’s the time, when he gets a sense of full belongingness.
10. Some days are bad days, Ignore them :
Don’t punish or yell at kids! Punishing, yelling, time outs are more disastrous and help nothing apart from impacting the innocent brains of kids. It creates a rift in the mind of a child as well as in parents. Explain kids in an empathetic manner once, may be twice. If not, leave the battle zone for some time and come back later with a different topic. You’ll see that the atmosphere has calmed down without any extra melodrama. Later during the day, you can have one to one discussion of the “unexpected behaviour” in a calm manner and get a nod of better attitude next time.
Hey mama’s and daddy’s, what are some of your parenting hacks? I see the parenting has changed a lot and most of the kids are getting over pampered. Do you feel, it is the right way? Share your views.
Love,
Jhilmil
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A really great and refreshing out look on parenting tips. I particularly like the one about letting them fail to learn.
Well, I can see I am doing a good job so far!! I do recognize I am a bit of a momma bear but so far, so good.
Aww I love this – a great outlook on parenting. I agree that letting them handle things their selves I important. My sister is actually due in a months time, so I’ll send her this article. 🙂
Christie’s Take on Life. xx
Some parents nowadays are on the extremes. Maybe we all need to find that perfect balance when it comes to raising up our children well. I love that you said we need to take at least 45 minutes to spend uninterrupted time with our children. I’m also guilty of using my phone too much even when it’s family time. I guess I just need to constantly remind myself to be intentional with time spent with my child. Thanks for posting this 🙂
Great tips, will defiantly be saving these for when I have kids one day.
This is a great list — I love #9, but I find it so hard to set the time aside and really focus on each child for a length of time each day.
I love this list- especially letting the kids work it out and encouraging reading. Such important life skills!
Thank you for these parenting tips! I have two little ones and sometimes it can be overwhelming. I’m still learning to let my girls learn things on their own without jumping in to help. This was a great read!
Yes! Let them fail, let them figure it out! I’m so frustrated with all the helicopter moms making everything easy for their kids. They need to know it’s not always that simple.
I loved reading the posta nd the 10 positive pareting tips are great. I must say. We love to pamper our child always but at times we have to put ourselves in dicipline so that kids become more confident and a self learner.
These are some really good parenting tips. My parents raised me like that and I aspire to raise my child with such positivity, they allowed me to fail and encouraged my creativity..
Insightful! Being a parent I can relate to all the points. I tend to make things easy for my daughter though sometimes I try not to but…I have bookmarked your post because I know I’ll need it as a reminder from time to time. Thanks for sharing!
Those are some great tips! I still need to work on the ‘no yell’ thing as at times when I lose my cool the first thing that comes is yell, but I am working on it
#4 is really resonates with me because I watched a relative struggle with giving too many choices to her kids. They are now grown and she makes different dinners for each of child…crazy. The kids were never given boundaries and they now rule the household at elementary ages. I can’t even imagine what it will be like when they are teenagers.
These are great tips for any parent.If you give freedom to try and experience the world with proper guidance,they will learn the good things.We also encourage reading and colouring activities at our home.That is a great way to improve kid’s concentration and attention span..
First of all, I am not a parent. And maybe that’s great because I read it in the perspective of the “wronged”. 🙂 Anyway, I believe parents have the responsibility of hearkening to some of these tips such as letting us be and trusting us.
Great.
These are some great tips. Some are easier to apply then others and some require more patience then others.
I love your positive parenting tips!!! You are such a wonderful mama!! Thanks for sharing this with us!
I love the sentiment of this post! The tips are so important and based on your adorable pic, you’re a great parent!
xo, Taylor (thesprinkle.tayloramead.com)
Get parenting tips! I love what you said about everyone contributing to the home. I tell my children the same. Our home is our home not just mom and dad’s home. I also agree with letting them fail. If faced correctly failure breads success and strength.
I love that you encourage kids to get dirty. This is one of my favorite parenting tips. Playing in the dirt is actually good for our health…living in a ‘too clean’ society is definitely not any fun!
As a new mom I strive to be positive regardless of how tired or busy I am. I don’t say no I say let’s do something else. It works everytime.
Let them fail. Such good advice that is SO HARD to do. But yes, very important. Great list!
Yes, it is hard Darlene, but we ought to let it happen. It pains to a mama seeing kids fail but then it is for their future. Thanks
Those are great tips, I use most of them when my kids were little.
I do not have kids yet but these tips are so good that I might as well share these with my family and friends having babies. I am also going to keep these for myself for future, maybe! 🙂 Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Oh yes, keep this for you, we all need certain reminders when we become moms:)
Great tips for parents. I am also a parent and completely agree with you, as some parents over pamper their kids like kings and queens and some control them as a slave. Therefore extremes are so bad. I liked your point about involving kids in household chores, which I also make them to do with me. Great post.
That’s great to know that you involve kids in small daily chores. Thanks:)
These are great things to remember, my favourite one is about letting them be themselves, it’s so important to let kids figure out who they are.
That’s so true! Thanks
Amazing post.. the right kind of attitude development is so important in kids.. i loved the way you highlighted how they should tackle their own issues.. thanks for sharing
Great points. I especially believe that allowing them to fail is important practice for the future. You won’t always be there to fix their every problem, so they need to learn how to deal with disappointment and how to push forward without you.
This is such a great post!! I don’t have kids yet but will totally refer to this when I do!
I love this positive posts. Most parenting tips can be a bit negative but this is great.
I love every single one of these! Especially letting them work out differences on their own. This past weekend, my niece and nephew stayed with us and they were all three tattling on each other. They were told not to tattle unless someone was hurting another and to figure it out between themselves
Parenting is an amazing thing which I haven’t experienced yet but surely in future this blog will be a reference for me.
What an Interesting post and I love to read more about this and such a great tips for Parenting I will keep this in my mind.
These are such awesome tip. I am not yet a parent but i’ll make sure to note this post. Also a great article to share with my mommy friends.
Very well explained.. its such a nice post.. though I am not a parent, but can relate to all this
Loved it completely. Superb article..Will share it with my friends too!
I dont have children, but these are amazing parental tips. Ones my parents definitely did with me. I love the part of just letting them be what they are. This is so important.
As a parent, it’s really a hard job to handle your kids with a lot of rules you have just to make them safer in this world. But I guess kids have their own ways of discovering life in their own adventure. Thanks for the tips.
I have been able to get one of my kids to do chores– working on the others though honestly. I am starting a new chart to help even. XO Via Bella Blog
To be honest, parenting is one of the things I fear the most. It requires a hell lot of patience. Anyway, these tips are useful in toning down my fear. Thanks a lot!
Yes, ask me, from a hot boiler I have turned to a calm sea now, lol.
I loved this. I am actually a referee kind of mom. Need to work on This.
All great tips. Especially #1, I agree with that 100%
Great tips! Especially agree with allowing them to fail. So very important because sometimes as parents we only want to see them succeed in everything.
You are so very right on all of these. We especially live by #4. Our kids LIKE pretty much every food there is, but they may not be in the mood for what we serve on a given day. Too bad; you get what you get, and you don’t get upset. And you know what? If they truly are hungry, they WILL eat some/remember how much they like it!
Being a parent to two boys I could relate with all of these tips. I agree with you 100% on the getting dirty tip. Children need germs more than they need antibiotics.
Love all of these. Failing is my number one. If they don’t understand life they will never get through it and always be dependent on you.
These are great tips! It’s hard to let go sometimes, but I think it’s ultimately what’s best for our children in a lot of situations! Thanks for sharing!
Great tips, its our job to teach the children right, 🙂
wow, this is a good post for parents, especially who’s just starting to be parents. I like all the tips, making them responsible at the same time, having fun.
Spending quality time everyday with her doing something we both enjoy is fun.These are excellent tips to parent better.
Great post… I agree to all the points especially when you said not to be the referee or the child will want to take you to their side
Love how detailed your blog is !! Everything is written so well.
I too love so many aspects of positive parenting and feel that our parents implemented so much of it without even knowing the concept…
Great tips you have shared, I always encourage my daughter to do small work like packing her school bag and keeping her stuff properly… It helps kids to be responsible.
Love the write up. These days I’m facing huge difference in my child behavior, she is continuously throwing tantrums and it is becoming difficult to handle day by day. Can you help me out.
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