This is NOT MY story, but of a friend very close to me. Showcasing her struggling emotions in the form of words. Hope I did justice in exhibiting her feeling of “Baby adoption” and how even a foster child can bring the ultimate euphoria in parent’s lives.
Life was beautiful, I was in the arms of the man I loved swaying away with all the beautiful emotions this life could soak me into. After all, we married each other post a long family struggle and the resultant was divine.
We used to roam around hand in hand, immerse ourselves amidst the beautiful nature on weekends and concentrated on our jobs during the week. Celebrations and get togethers were common to make our lives cheerful. We ensured that our wishes got fulfilled in one way or the other. True to me, I felt I was in Fairyland, my hubby pampered all my wishes just like my dad and I felt princess to the two most adorable men in my life, dad and Him.
Life sailed smoothly, yes sometimes the winds were strong enough to drift our boats apart but then the nights got us to calm and be together side by side, with same emotions once again. It went on so for close to 4years, and then we started thinking of having a baby. Most of the married couples in our circle were in the process of being called “Mom and Dad”. This feeling allured us so much, we loved the innocence of every child. The magic it brings in the life seemed angelic. The modest fingers, teeny feet and the toothless smiles just blew us away every time we looked at the babies. I couldn’t stop myself shopping those cute adorable dresses, accessories even before getting pregnant.
We were sure that we wanted to start our family soon, very soon. Excitedly, we started looking for the optimum dates [in full fertility zone] to try getting conceived. We also got close to 4-5 test kits at home to test out the good news. 3-4 months were in vain, we were told by our friends that it is perfectly fine, things take time. But those 3-4 months horridly doubled into 8months with no success. I sensed something fishy within us. Though I was tensed and nervous “he” was always positive. We decided to get ourselves tested, not only me, but both.
The test results were very clear, I had to welcome a cyst in my ovary and was diagnosed with PCOS [Polycystic ovary syndrome]. The day was quite somber, and the night turned bitter, when I started accusing my body. My gynaecologist never said that I could not be a mother, but then she was not even certain if I could. “He” stayed calm and did not let fatherhood ride over the Husband-wife relation and loved me all the more. But, somewhere inside my heart, I was broken and grief stricken. As months passed to the treatment, I got more heavy hearted and accused myself internally to not get introduced to that fascinating world of “Motherhood”.
We switched many hospitals and doctors, travelled many cities to avail the best treatment. It had been a strife of close to 4 years and we were losing all our hopes. My smiles and the playful attitude was getting faded. Our relation was getting more strained and stressful. Even the smallest of the things irked me, my hormones were testing me immensely. Medications started giving my body a tiring time. I felt as if my self – confidence vanished somewhere.
The glittering pink and blue dresses got covered in a pile of dust. The bows stared at me from the hangers and the tiny booties waited to touch the floor. I saw tears in my eyes looking at the same adorable baby posters, which excited something in me, earlier. I locked the wardrobe and did not want to see any of this again. I unsubscribed form the parenting websites, stopped going to the celebrations, specially kid’s birthday parties. Something maddening was setting in me.
Why was God being that unfair to me? Why did he choose just me for this situation? Had I really done something worse, that I had to repent so much? I thought to get counselled to get that peace of mind. And this decision was a turning point for us. I knew, I was not the alone to-be-mama in this world who could not conceive. And, so, within 3 months of counselling, “We” decided to give a fresh start. This time by, adopting a baby. Yes, God had sent me on this earth to love a fairy who was waiting for a mama. He wanted me to hold the hand of a baby who was waiting to be hugged and kissed forever. He wanted me to cherish a beauty whose life missed the true love of mama-papa.
How could have I blamed God for being partial towards me? There are so many kids waiting a pure foster care. Some luckily get that love while so many wait for their lives to get that the blissful love. Some are not even lucky to call someone “mama-papa” in their lives. I shrieked, had goosebumps all over my body at the painful thought of seeing those eyes yearning for that tenderness, emotion and affection.
We were firm, we wanted to adopt the baby. We researched a lot by the medium of Central Adoptive Research Agency(CARA) and registered with them. We got through the process of child adoption in India and applied for Foster care.
After the verifications, In over 10months, we received the call from agency to see a baby girl of 3 months, legally free for adoption.
The moment I received the call, I had tears, this time tears of being a mother, and the happiness to see a spirited baby. I hugged my husband, since I knew he wanted to be a proud dad and it was the day that we could see our baby. Yes she was our baby no matter what. And we decided to accept her without seeing. Her thought of being in our lives itself was enough for us.
It rained heavily the next day, signifying the start of a new life. Crazily, we drove, thinking all about how her eyes, nose, lips would be? Would she have curly hair like my husband or straight like me? Will she smile seeing us, her to-be -parents? So many emotions breezed out in the air. The weather was perfect that day, tress were hustling with joy as we crossed them.
As the car stopped, I ran inside and asked the authorities for the glimpse. Every minute was getting me frantic. We saw, held, hugged and kissed her multiple times. She was beautiful, with those grey eyes and curly black hair. She instantly held my finger tightly with her soft and beautiful hands. She knew we were her’s and she was our’s forever and ever! Being a foster parent was the biggest happiness that my life could give me and my husband.
This is my friend’s child adoption story. It is a #Worldadoptionday on 9th Nov 2017, to celebrate the adoption, cherish the foster care, to bring new joys in our lives. I urge you all to provide a foster home to babies, to share your love with them. Incase you are having fertility issues, don’t feel dejected, its never late to adopt a baby. Babies are majestic, promote adoption in India and world. Let a graceful soul have the love they need. Parenting is the biggest joy, go get it by adoption!
Love to you all!