In last post, we discussed about how to help kids learn STOP bullying and be bullied. This post is all about helping you identify if your child is in the “Bully/being bullied phase, along with some practical ways to help kids come out of that phase.
We wrote about, why do kids bully in the last post, but what all symptoms can you observe if you child is the one who has resorted to bully other kids. Have a look at the possible signs and then as a parent, initiate the corrective action.
Signs of a Child Bully :
- Lots of Anger and uncontrolled behaviour
- Empathy loss, No pain for someone in need
- Lack of self confidence, reacts negatively too quickly
- Has already been bullied, abused earlier
- Lack of social skills
- Boasts egoism and jealousness
- Wants to remain in the limelight (famous)
- Name calling, teasing kids
- Tries to be bossy or be superior to all
- Even hurts & teases animals
It’s really hurting to see kids at this end, but what comes as a responsibility for us, is to pull them out of this behaviour.
Here are some ways to help child bullying deal with their behaviour :
In many of the children, who tend to bully, you would find a feeling of Insecurity and aggression. It is here that they need to learn Anger Management, they need to work on dealing with too strong emotions. Things which can help them to control their feelings and improve social skills :
1. Professional / Parental Counselling for Anger Management:
Kids need to understand a difference between the emotions and behaviour. They can feel angry but to behave negatively with anyone around during anger phase is what they need to control. Usually kids who take their anger to unruly behaviour, have a strong feelings of embarrassment, inferiority, sadness. Try to make it a point to know their feelings and speak about them daily. Early Parental talks heals these feelings a lot.
2. Ensure an non provocative environment at home :
There are many moments in life, at home, when we, as adults also display our negative reactions and lose our temper. Remember, your child is watching you. Deal with those emotions in a simple way. Quote those instances to your child and then make them understand how to react positively under such situations.
3. Ensure the random acts of kindness and love at home :
Appreciate when your child takes a positive stance from his negative feelings. Accolade him if he tries to curb his anger. Keep on doing small acts of kindness, try to help needy. Inculcate positive qualities in kids right from early childhood. Appreciate kids or family members who take a stand and come in front to help others. Show gratitude to people in your life in front of your kids. Love animals and teach kids these acts as well.
4. Asking help doesn’t downgrades anyone :
As kids grow they tend to develop a feeling of not asking for help. They think this will lower down their ego and self respect. Teach children from the very beginning that asking help is good. We all have different skills, and taking help from someone only enhances our relationship. There is nothing to feel ashamed or sorry about that. Show them instances of how a small help, worked out amazingly for you.
5. Involve kids more in social gatherings :
Social gatherings usually have a positive aura. Involve kids in such gatherings, give them time to know other kids. Help them to introduce themselves and showcase their positive works. Let them get the feel of a community.
6. Use their energy into creative manner :
Keep child bullying engaged in sports / Creative works/Volunteering tasks. Reading stories which showcase Empathy, Gratitude and similar optimistic emotions. Allow them some time to self – assess their emotions and behaviours. Speak to them, after their self assessment. Involve them in Role Playing and put them at the other end of the game to understand the emotions of someone who is being bullied.
7. Inculcate Empathy & Gratitude :
Let kids know that their small acts of empathy can help someone. Praise kids when they care or help someone. They must see themselves as individuals who should care and value the emotions and acts of others. Tell them via stories how non empathetic behaviour hurts and how kindness and help can really bring a smile to others. Deal into emotional verbal conversation with your kids daily if you find them going away from these emotions.
8. Meditation :
Believe me, Meditation really works in controlling negative emotions and boosts up self confidence in a child. It helps in circulation of good hormones. Encourage that your family meditates daily atleast for 30minutes a day to have a calm and positive mind.
Continue onto our next post, which deals if your child is on the other side of the coin, i.e. if your child is the victim of bully. Understand from your child’s behaviour and initiate the help measures to boost up their confidence.
Hey lovely readers, I would love you to share here your thoughts and various other measures that would help a Bully child to come back and control their negative emotions! Definitely, I’ll add on the valuable suggestions, with due credits.
Nurture beautiful values in kids right from the start!
Happy Positive Parenting!