[Guest Post: Inspiring Motherhood Story of Ruchika Tayal]
Positive!! Yes, Finally, the reports were Positive. After a long span of 7 years, 10 IUI failures, 1 IVF failure, all that made me cried and cried was the word Positive. How much we needed to hear this.
February 2009, we got married and all went like a fairytale. We thought to take a further step towards our family line. After trying for 6-7 months and with no result, We consulted a Gynaecologist and after few follicular checkups, we went for the first IUI and then to the second and to third. Our gynecologist gave us a suggestion to go for IVF to which my husband wasn’t sure about. Listening to various suggestions, we changed our gynecologist. (The only wrong step we took here, I ignored what my intuition said).
Did our IUI attempts succeed?
Then there went a trail of IUI failures. In a total of 7, the body quite gave up but the emotions. The desire to conceive was strong but we landed up with 10 IUI failures.
I remember how I used to cry in my heart, every time I visited a new Mom to the hospitals. I wanted to be happy for them but all I could imagine the day when I would get the same feel. No, I wasn’t jealous. But the desire to become a self-mommy was deep and intense. The struggle never stopped.
The family pressure was strong.
We moved on to IVF:
Finally, after lots of discussions and positivity, we went for our first IVF. The IVF was painful. No, it didn’t pain my body as much, it ached my mind, my heart, and my soul. I was devastated when the bedrest of 2.5 months resulted as ‘Negative’. Disheartened to such an extent, I stopped looking into the mirror only to avoid that fat-swollen acned face. Stopped looking into the mirror to avoid that fat-swollen lady with no baby bump. Stopped into the mirror to avoid that lady who can’t conceive and deliver a baby. How embarrassing it used to be attending the baby shower functions and being asked among 40-50. That was not just a question, but also it was a mental depression.
Gradually, people started suggesting I should adopt. But, excuse Me, did I ever ask for that? The people who were never in 6 years, suddenly had all the answers.
All I remember that one person, who always stood by Me and said “Ruchi, Tu koshish mat chodna, main saath hi hu. Girne nahi denge tujhe.”
I never stopped fighting:
And I fought, struggled with all to go for my second IVF. The firm decision in my mind, the only ‘ज़िद्द’ in Me to conceive and deliver was strong and determined. If I am to become a Mother, I will only deliver. Then was the time when We again met Dr. Meena Vankhawala, a gynecologist at VR mall and I remember the same first positive vibe (which I had ignored). At her suggestion, we went to Nova IVI, Ahmedabad for consultation. What an amazing move it was.
They informed me the success ratio is 60:40. The myth behind IVF of full-time bed rest and too many medicines and highly expensive went off.
Yes, It was positive in the month of October. But the struggle was not over. Getting admitted twice in 2 months with the baby in Me was scary, but the positivity in my mind and God’s hand kept our prayers.
After the 3 months of rest and complications, the pregnancy went smooth with acidity, cravings, excitement, the happiness of the new life in my eyes. We were so scared throughout the 9 months, we never went for a baby shower, maternity shoot.
June 16, 2016, finally, my imagination to be on the delivery bed and all over blessings became a reality. We became Parents.
To all the taunts, all the questions, all the expressions, and to all the doubts.
A Mom’s heart speaks:
Taking a break from my work life and leaving my teaching profession for 10 years was hard but paid well.
However, due to the present scenario, I may not be able to resume my work life but being a Mommy, has given me the best teaching experience and the Lockdown 2020 was the time that made Me realize, “I don’t need a school/college always to impart my knowledge and work on my teaching skills. To all those who say, ‘At the end you are handling children, right? What did you do for your career?”
We mommies, teach our children and earn more than we earn from fixed salaries. We earn precious time, wonderful moments. We bring out the hidden child in ourselves, we impart life skills with full heart and devotion. Being a Mommy doesn’t deprive me of Self-Love. My first love is always Me. I can only love my child if I love myself. All these struggles and medicines of 7 years have not let me down. It has given me more power to say ‘I Am Strong.’
My body may not be the same but my determination is. My knowledge, my experience is back with my kid, and it is called #LearningsWithLittleLearners”
You can read my Motherhood story here