It’s not always rosy, it has its share of tears, frustrations, annoyance, but still Motherhood if understood emotionally, is the best phase a woman can have in her life.
How much it pained me to read that a new mom threw her 25 day old daughter into the garbage dump, just due to her incessant cries. That infant would have been in her purple period. Shocking, nerve wrenching, just a line got me goosebumps and my heart melted with tears flowing across. How can a mommy’s heart do that? What actually went wrong? Can a mother kill her own legal newborn just because she was hearing her cries? The mother of that really unfortunate baby gave the statement that she was angry and frustrated of looking after her new born. The destiny didn’t save her and the lil infant went back in the arms of God, once again, due to skull fracture. An innocent life was taken away, by the one who gave her this life!
The images of cute kids smiling, giving hugs, laughing along with moms on social media, is not always a reality. Every mom has to go through some challenges while raising her child, sometimes on a harsher side as well. It takes a lot of patience, perseverance, backbreaking work, tons of emotional drainage to raise a child positively. It demands sacrifices, sometimes even of our own cherished desires to give our babies all the love happily. There can be many small mistakes we do as parents, and till the time they do not affect a child on a huge scale, its just okay. But to take the life out of our own baby, is something, even God can never forgive.
And to attain all this, it has to be responsible, aware parenting, right from the day a woman conceives and dreams of an adorable baby.
For this, I believe in few things which a woman, rather to be parents, should involve into :
1. Planned Pregnancy :
Do plan that you really want a baby. Many couples rush to have baby because of the parental pressures or sometime due to age factors as well. But, the most important is, plan for a baby, only when you as a couple, are ready to take over the responsibility. It entails emotional, physical and financial drains, ask your inner self if you are ready or you still want some time? Be happy with whatever your decision is.
2. Counselling / Discussions :
Discussions with experienced friends, colleagues, or counselling helps a lot. Once you get to know the journey of someone closer, it helps you prepare mentally of the ups and downs you get to meet in this phase.
Apart from that, many advanced hospitals, training institutes conduct before and after birth counselling sessions. Try to be a part of that along with your partner. The insights they share, helps to be mama’s and papa’s to understand the complexities in pregnancy, the after effects of baby birth, and they answer many “How to” after your precious baby comes into this world.
I have always wanted that government should make regulations for the hospitals to conduct these counselling sessions and mandatory trainings all over. It can make parents head strong for the life ahead.
3. Parenting Blogs/ Parenting Forums :
Reading out parenting blogs which state parents experiences frame up one’s mind. Many blogs have varied experiences and stories and this can help you to know how different the journey to motherhood or parenthood is. Sometimes sweet, at times sour and even bitter. Reading such blogs will make you emotionally stronger and you’ll be able to handle challenges positively.
Apart from blogs, there are many Parenting forums on Facebook, they are of immense knowledge and help. You can post your queries, wherein other mama’s can help you with sharing their experiences. The more you interact and read, the more you get to know of Motherhood and Parenting. Don’t turn this bliss into a miss!
4. Self time and Meditation :
Mothering is not easy, believe me! A mother tends to keep all her passions on the shelf due to the lack of time. But, don’t forget your passions, your frequency may slow down, but don’t put a full stop. Our hobbies makes our inner self smile. Hang out with friends, do savour on street foods, pamper yourself with spa’s, dance to the soulful music. Meditation is something, which can be practised in every situation on every day. It’ll keep you calm, tone down your extra emotions, make you feel energetic. More so, during stressful hours, meditating for 20-30 minutes can help you say bye bye to that stress and in turn make you lot healthier and happier. Meditation is bible to my life, I try to do it daily for a better Me!
5. Ask for help :
Raising kids is stressful, being a first time mom, one can many times miss out the reason as to why child is crying, why is he/she not feeding, what all should a baby be fed upon, approach if a child is not well. And in all these situations, a small help from family and friends can go a long way for us. Ask your partner to share the responsibilities. He needs to help you for your baby. If you are with your baby, take help from family members to cook a small meal. Be relaxed! Things happen, but find out a calming and best way to tackle certain situation. Don’t flow with the negative emotions.
And Why to feel shamed, if you need some help? You’re not master of all and that is okay. We all have certain set of qualities, so I’m sure we lose out on some, which others might have. And to me, its a very normal thing. I love asking for help to my family and friends and in turn I have plethora of suggestions to opt from. Isn’t that incredible? I chose the best one that fits me and I’m a happy soul. No stress and help, makes your day!
Think, think and again think, before you take any step. Give a pause when you are flowing with negativity.
I would love to know your thoughts also, how can we make new parent’s expectation realistic? What do you think should couples and parents involve in, to ensure that the road to Parenthood is well traced. Share your views in the comment box.
This post is also written as a part of the #AlexaTheIncredible campaign hosted by #womenbloggerwb”